Sunday, June 7, 2009

Deep To The Depth of It.

I lost my phopu 2 days ago.
One day after my last exam and well, the worst day of the entire week I guess.
We all knew it actually. It had been 2 weeks since I knew about it. They said it was serious but had the hope for a miracle. I prayed for a miracle. Somethings just don't happen because there's a reason for them not to happen. Somethings don't happen because God doesn't want them to happen. He has a better plan. For all of us.
People come people go. They leave behind memories. Memories so intense like the mountains in the sea which rise beyond sea level to show what they're made up of. To show their existence. To show that they're still there.
My dad lost his third family member to cancer on the 4th of June. His mum had cancer but then they didn't have the finance to treat it. My uncle, younger to my dad had bladder cancer and well like most cases, it was too late and the chemotherapy did little help. My aunt had a lot.
Cancer is not only what she suffered through. She suffered through a lot. Poverty, ill-treatment, diseases, you name it. She had high blood pressure, diabetes, a pancreas removed and then came cancer. It made her obese. Liquid spread through her abdomen, which gave more pathway to the malignant. It went from her liver up to her throat. She finally had blisters in her mouth. The doctors told her to go home and spend the last days with her loved ones including God. And so she did.
Some people are too good in the world. my phopu was the sweetest person I knew. She never asked for help in finance, just so that she could show her children to never be dependent on others but God. She gave us all something, no other family member gave us, something that money couldn't buy. Love. Extreme love, with sweets and treats and smiles and hugs. And twinkles in the eyes. And loving it through.
I'll miss her. I'll always love her. I'll pray for her whenever I can and may be inshaAllah do an Umrah on her behalf. I guess its okay to live with it now. Three days of mourning are over. life will get back to it inshaAllah.

I had cut down on my music, movies, etc. I missed parties but well I wasn't in the mood. But now, well I want to get some fun out of me, you know. After AS exams, I think I deserved to party. We'll leave that in God's hands for now. But remember, then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you deny? Too.
It is He who'll give you the light upon the approach of death, upon approach of fear, regret and all that Satan disposes on us. So Love your God. :)


  1. Oh, Hi Sarah - I'm so sorry to read this; really, really sorry. I hope you're feeling OK. Is Phopu Grandmother? She sounds like she was an amazing, wonderful person. Hope you're doing OK. Take care, Liz xx (From Jumble Sale Rabbits blog)